Self-injury, although highly misunderstood, is a way for a person to cope with outrageously overwhelming feelings at the moment. It may not be a "healthy" or "normal" coping mechanism, but it is one that the person knows and for whatever reason can relate to.

Please keep in mind that not everyone has learned how to deal with things normally nor have they learned "normal" coping skills. (keep in mind that cutting & burning becomes normal to the person doing it)

HOW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY CAN COPE:

You may have other people in your household that are questioning why this person has scratches, cuts and/or burns on them.

Let's say you have a daughter who has scratches on her arm and your other children are asking you about it. The best thing is to speak to them on their level. (you would address a 5 year old differently than a 12 year old) Explain to them honestly about the situation, again at the level you believe they can handle. Explain to them that their brother/sister is dealing with something that they feel they cannot handle and this is the way they are dealing with it.
(not a healthy way)

You could say something like this: "Your sister (or brother) has marks (scratches, cuts, bruises, burns) on her (or his) leg (part of body) because she (or he) is taking the problems out on them self. She (or he) is getting help and will be better soon."
No person likes secrets and no matter the age of the child or person you are explaining this to, they will appreciate your honesty.

The important thing to remember is that the children or spouse who are doing fine (not experiencing self-injury as a coping mechanism) need your love and support as much as the one who is cutting & dealing with the problems. It is important to be open and honest and to come close as a family and to be supportive of one another. Keep that open line of communication, pray as a family, talk about the issues at hand rather than storming off; no yelling, no fits, no tantrums. Staying together and be supportive of one another will benefit everyone involved in the long run.

Whatever the person is going through now, they most likely did not get there overnight; the problems have been there all along, it just may have taken a particular incident for the problems to manifest. With that said, know that it will take a little time for the person to get a handle on things. Be patient and diligent to see things through.

The main thing here is to keep the main thing the MAIN THING!

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